Hello new friends and old. How are you all? [Pause for response] That’s good to hear.
What follows is either an history lesson or a trip down memory lane. If you have been around long enough to remember rose gold foil printed hoodies with thumb-holes…or the vending machine at the gym entrance…or J-Sav coaching weightlifting on Wednesday nights…then none of this will be new to you.
However, if you have popped your CrossFit cherry more recently then welcome to our cult…I mean…community. It is definitely, definitely not a cult. Now stop asking questions and drink your Kool-Aid.
The story goes like this, once upon a time (in 2017), in a land not that very far away (on an industrial estate in Wythenshawe), a group of people got together one April weekend for a friendly competition to mark the opening of our beloved M Squared.
Almost every year since (save for a few years in the middle when the world was ending) that group of people has got back together on a Saturday in April to celebrate another year in the life of our gym. Some things have changed over time. It became a fancy dress affair, as things often do in our gym (just accept it Jess). 
It became more of a celebration than a competition (for everyone except Paul C). The individuals making up the group have changed as members join and leave, people come and go…but, as a whole the M Squared community is the same now as it was then. Together, we sweat, laugh, cry, tear hands, bump fists, beat PBs, pull muscles and almost always remember to pay for our Noccos. And so as another April approaches, there is another competition in the diary (Saturday 25th) and another invitation for everyone in this year’s group to dress up, throw some bars about, and celebrate the strength of our community.
I can promise you these four things:
- The workouts will be accessible for everyone. We are using the same format as last year: a couple of group/team workouts to begin with based on classic CrossFit benchmarks; a max lift section in the middle where the team’s score it the total weight lifted by all its members; and a one-after-another waterfall-style workout to finish, ending in a boatrace (downing a pint of something fizzy +/- alcohol after a 400m sprint in fancy dress)
- We will almost definitely start the workouts late. Experience has taught us that 9am to 9:30am is spent on pre-workout pastries, last minute face paint and photos. (I do still need you to get there at 09:00 though, please.)
- We will absolutely certainly finish on time (midday) because I know all of you (except like six people – you know who you are) have actual lives and things to be cracking on with on a Saturday afternoon.
- It is 100% more about the fancy dress than the fitness. On the last few Aprils I have spent a Saturday morning at the gym dressed:
- in Speedos (and, unfortunately for everyone concerned, only Speedos)
- as Freddie Mercury
- in full-on emo uniform as my 17 year old self (and, let’s be honest, my 18, 19, 20, 21 year old self too)
- as my favourite meme
- and, who can forget, as three different eras of Taylor Swift
I cannot remember any of my max lifts from any of the comps, but I remember how much fun it has been every year (except maybe the Speedos year).
So get booked on (in the either scaled, intermediate or RX category – this will help us make sure we create pretty even teams). We will allocate everyone a team with the fancy dress theme selected by the team captains (me, Em and Gage). And then we’ll throwdown Saturday 25th April, 9am-12pm with a night out to follow.
Happy birthday M Squared. The best cult we could blow out the candles and wish for. Dammit, gym, not cult. We are definitely not a cult.
Chris G (aka creative director)
Please now enjoy some throwback pics of our previous comps…
